MOVING MOUNTAINS

Resources

Gratitude is Good for Mental Health: Three Ways to Practice This Season

The holiday season has a way of turning the volume up on everything—expectations, logistics, emotions, and the quiet pressure to somehow be joyful on command. Even Thanksgiving, a holiday built around gratitude, can feel complicated. For many young people, and many adults too, this stretch of the year stirs up anxiety, comparison, and old patterns that make “feeling grateful” seem like a tall order. And yet, one of the things we talk about every day at Mountain Valley is that small shifts matter. A tiny change in attention—one moment of noticing what’s going right instead of everything that feels heavy—can be the beginning of real movement.

The research is clear: intentionally practicing gratitude is good for both mental and physical health. It lowers the risk of depression. It boosts positive emotions. It helps with sleep, supports heart health, and increases overall life satisfaction. And despite how corny it can sound, especially to a teenager who’s been asked to “journal about gratitude” more times than they can count, the science keeps repeating the same message: it actually works. Not because it erases stress or eliminates anxiety, but because it gives the brain something steady and grounding to hold onto in the middle of it all.

What we see at Mountain Valley mirrors that research. For many residents, anxious thoughts take up so much space that gratitude feels out of reach—especially early in treatment. But with gentle structure, repetition, and a little willingness, gratitude becomes a way to interrupt the vicious circle of avoidance, rumination, and fear. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It rarely is. It often starts with something as small as a shared laugh at lunch, a moment of courage during ERP, or a staff member meeting a resident exactly where they are. These micro-moments matter. They’re the footholds young people use to climb toward a life that feels more open, flexible, and grounded.

So how do you actually build gratitude—especially when you don’t feel it? Here are three simple, doable practices that work for the adolescents and emerging adults we serve, and for the adults who walk alongside them:

1. Write it down.
You don’t need a fancy journal or a beautifully written paragraph. Start a running list in your Notes app. One thing a day. Something real, not forced: the warmth of your bed, a funny moment from group, your dog, a good cup of tea, the quiet after lights out. On the hard days, return to the list. Let it remind you that your life contains more than whatever anxiety happens to be shouting in your ear.

2. Take a walk.
Movement helps shift anxious energy, and pairing it with intentional noticing makes it even more powerful. Whether it’s five minutes around the block or a long hike through the woods, bring your attention to small things that feel steady or pleasing: the way your feet move, the rhythm of your breath, the way light hits the trees, the music in your earbuds. Gratitude grows in motion.

3. Say thank you.
One of the quickest ways to increase gratitude is simply to express it. Text a friend, thank a staff member, acknowledge your parents, or tell a teacher or coach that something they did mattered. These moments of human connection, however brief, widen the emotional bandwidth that anxiety tries to narrow.

Here at Mountain Valley, volunteering is another gratitude practice we use intentionally. When residents serve the community, they experience both sides of appreciation—offering it and receiving it. It’s a powerful reminder that gratitude isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action that connects us to something bigger than our own worries.

Gratitude won’t fix everything, but it can soften the edges of a season that often feels overwhelming. With a bit of practice, it becomes a tool you can return to again and again—one that helps you notice what’s here, what’s working, and what’s worth holding onto in every season of life.

MOVING MOUNTAINS

Resources

Sharon McCallie-Steller and The Transition Beyond Mountain Valley

The discharge from Mountain Valley is not the end of the journey, but the beginning of a new chapter. For many residents and families, this transition can feel both exciting and unsettling. The structured environment that provided safety and support gives way to a less predictable daily life, where progress must be carried forward without the same immediate scaffolding.

Phase 4: The Return was designed to bridge this gap. This optional, separately billed phase offers thirty days of structured guidance to help residents and families integrate what they have learned, establish lasting supports, and thoughtfully say goodbye to the community that has been central to their growth. Sharon McCallie-Steller, MS, MHC, who helped design Phase 4, has a long history with Mountain Valley and currently serves as the director of transition services. Learn more about Sharon’s background and Phase 4:

How did you end up at Mountain Valley?

Sharon McCallie-Steller

I was in the middle of raising my family of four children, my youngest two were early teens getting through high school. I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and as my son was looking at colleges, I started doing some introspection myself about what I was really doing with my life.

Most of my career decisions had really been focused on making money and getting benefits. It wasn’t really about what I wanted, it was looking at what next job would give me the leg up that helps my family. At the time, that was an appropriate choice. But all of a sudden I was really questioning what I was doing.

One of my sons grew up with an anxiety disorder, and a lot of teachers and counselors helped us really learn how to help him. I was very participatory in all the school meetings, therapy, all the things. I started thinking about going back to graduate school, and when I was 40, I went back and got my mental health counseling degree. I looked for a job before I graduated because I have a family and I needed to get back to work.

I went to visit Mountain Valley and saw everything they did, and I felt like I was made for the job. I knew what it was like to be a parent of a child who struggled with anxiety. I was shocked they rolled the dice on me because I was a non-traditional applicant, in my mid-forties at the time, just getting out of school. I asked the clinical director at the time why he hired me, and he said, ‘you just can’t teach passion.’ I dove in and I learned so much, working as one of the first clinicians from 2014-2019, before Mountain Valley moved to Plainfield.

How did you land in your current role?

After Mountain Valley, I worked in an assessment program for boys in the foster care system, and as a therapist at a specialized boarding school. But that life was very intensive and COVID hit, so I started looking at other things. Will Laughlin ended up calling me and mentioned interest in transition work at Mountain Valley, adding some supports for families based on feedback he’d received. Will knew I had this experience, because I did a lot of family therapy and parent coaching as a clinician. He also knew I had the personal experience parenting a child with an anxiety disorder, and asked if I’d like to be part of the transition services team.

I think part of what has led me back to this moment is how can I help parents? Parenting is really hard, it’s hard in general. It dovetailed nicely, I was able to use my experiences and meld it all together to help support families post-treatment. I think a lot of times there’s a gap when someone leaves treatment and they start therapy outside of treatment. A new therapist doesn’t have the precise language of the sending program, and they don’t really know what’s gone in in the treatment center. Phase 4 helps with the continuity of care to have a bridge of someone who really understands ERP and knows how it all works. That’s an important part of what we’re doing with Phase 4 and our transition work.

Tell us a little more about how your background prepared you for this role?

I think my life experience helps me relate to parents. I have my own children, who are now from ages 24 to 36, and I’ve been through all stages of parenting. My son with anxiety struggled in so many ways, but he overcame his challenges and became a Marine. I have another son who has battled with addiction and is sober now. I’ve been through it. I’ve walked this path.

And I have a lot of experience in general. Before I went back to school, I worked in a lot of different industries doing all kinds of administrative work. That knowledge has really allowed me to be mindful of how to work with teams and succinctly put information together. Then work together to make sure we’re all moving in the same direction.

It’s kind of like I picked up all these pebbles on my way through life, now they’re in a jar and I’m using them in this work. It’s nice to feel that all the time I was doing other things, they were still valuable for what I’m doing today.

How did Phase 4 develop?

Our first round of transition services helped some families, but we found it didn’t help as many Mountain Valley families as we’d like. I wasn’t involved in the transition planning for families until the very end. We decided we should come at it from a different angle. We have three phases of treatment, and we want to do a fourth phase that’s a very specific, short-term support for families. A bridge from Mountain Valley to a more normalized environment that doesn’t have a robust therapeutic component. It might be home, it might be a boarding school, or maybe it’s college.

Zack and I got together and brainstormed on how to improve our transition process. We wanted Phase 4 to have the same type of approach as our other phases. We have a checklist, we have expectations of what we’re working on. But in this phase, it titrates down so we pull support back and guide families toward their community supports.

We decided I should come in to help with transition planning right from the start, and now I meet parents just a couple of weeks into their child’s treatment. I’m supporting the clinicians, making sure we’re having our meetings and that the right people are invited. It just takes another thing off their plate.

The clinician’s job is to work on treatment, and our parent coach Dr. Lisa Rosen’s job is to do the parent coaching so parents are learning about anxiety and OCD. And my job is to make sure all of us keep an eye on the clock. Because 90 days goes very quickly when you are steeped in treatment and visits.

I’m everyone’s executive functioning brain when it comes to transition planning, and it makes it an easier transition when I take on the parent coaching in Phase 4. Parents are already comfortable with me—they’ve seen me on meetings, and I often work on the family agreement with them as their child is leaving treatment.

It’s early, but how do you think Phase 4 is going so far?

I’m excited, we have two families we’re working with currently and a couple coming up. It’s already helping parents recognize their patterns as they show up—helping them problem solve and identify those patterns in their communication. It’s a nice way for parents to not feel like they’re alone in the wilderness for the first four weeks. They have someone they can call, and access to me after their child graduates. We’re finding that having these students work with a mentor they knew while in treatment helps to reduce barriers to communication. Our mentors are having consistent and meaningful communication with the students they’re working with.

We may find that families need support for longer than the 30 days we provide, and I can help them find the next step, like a parent coach for parents or an executive functioning coach for the student for example. I can also brainstorm with their educational consultant, if they have one, to help them get more support.

I host a post Mountain Valley parent support group every other week on Tuesdays. Parents can join anytime they want, and they can talk to other parents. That group has great advice and support for each other.

I’m really kind of steeped in it. Even if I don’t have the answers, I can offer that lifeline. It’s really rewarding to be that support for parents in a time where there’s so much going on.

 What have you noticed has been most helpful for families during the transition?

A lot of my work is telling parents that they do know what they’re doing and helping them recognize old patterns. They do have the tools they need to succeed. I’m here to boost their confidence and be their cheerleader—you’ve got this, you really are moving forward. When you’re parenting a kid who struggles and has extra special needs, it’s hard to remember.

MOVING MOUNTAINS

Resources

Five Things Every Parent of an Anxious Child Should Consider Heading Into the School Year

The start of a new school year can bring excitement, but for many children — especially those struggling with anxiety — it also brings a storm of worry and self-doubt. Parents often wonder: how much should I push, and how much should I protect? While there are no simple answers, there are guiding principles that can help families navigate the year ahead with steadiness and clarity.

Here are five key considerations for parents of anxious kids as school begins.


1. Normalize, but Don’t Accommodate Avoidance

Some level of anxiety at the start of school is completely natural. Where problems begin is when avoidance takes hold. Avoidance provides short-term relief but strengthens the vicious circle of anxiety, making future challenges harder. This cycle works by rewarding escape in the moment, which teaches the brain that avoidance is the safest option — and over time, the fear grows larger and the situations harder to face. For example, if a student skips class once because of anxiety, it feels like instant relief, but the next day returning to class feels even more overwhelming, making the avoidance harder to break.

Avoidance also interrupts the ability to participate in daily occupations like school, play, and friendships. The goal is to support children in gradually re-engaging rather than removing them from challenges. Parents can validate discomfort while still encouraging manageable steps forward.

Examples:
Presentation avoidance: Scaffold exposure — practice with a teacher, then a small group, then the class.
Nurse visits: Limit breaks, with the expectation of returning to class within a specific timeframe. 
School refusal: Resist defaulting to online schooling, which entrenches avoidance.
Homework: Break assignments into smaller parts instead of excusing them.


2. Set Structure Through Routines and Plans

Anxious kids thrive when life feels predictable — at home and at school. Consistent routines around sleep, wake-ups, meals, and homework reduce uncertainty, while proactive communication with teachers and counselors helps prevent last-minute crises. Transitions, especially from summer to school, are smoother when structure is introduced early.

Routines aren’t just about efficiency; they create a sense of safety and mastery across multiple environments. Predictable structure helps children conserve mental energy, freeing up space for learning, play, and social engagement.

Parents also play a powerful role in modeling regulation. If a parent stays calm when the bus is missed or when homework feels overwhelming, a child learns that stress can be managed without panic. When parents and schools coordinate expectations and backup plans, anxious kids experience greater consistency, which reduces uncertainty.

Examples:
Routine: Homework done at the same time and place each evening to eliminate nightly negotiations.
Modeling: Respond calmly to a missed bus or forgotten lunch.
Planning: “If she’s overwhelmed, she can take a five-minute break, then return — not skip the rest of the day.”


3. Look Beyond the School Day

Attendance doesn’t equal wellness. Some anxious kids grit their teeth and “white-knuckle” through the school day, only to retreat into isolation at home. Real progress shows up across multiple domains: family life, friendships, leisure, and play — not just classroom attendance. Functioning means engaging in a balance of daily occupations, not just enduring academics.

Connection is central. Kids need opportunities to belong, to laugh, and to participate in meaningful activities — whether it’s playing a sport, creating art, cooking with family, or spending time with friends. Leisure and play aren’t extras; they are essential therapeutic tools for regulating emotions, building skills, and counteracting stress.

Parents should also watch for subtle avoidance that signals anxiety is in control. Frequent nurse visits, perfectionistic meltdowns, or refusals disguised as illness often indicate that fear — not defiance — is driving behavior. Looking beyond attendance helps parents and schools measure whether a child is truly engaging in life, not just getting through the day.

Examples:
White-knuckling: A child attends school but spends every afternoon isolated online.
Extracurriculars: Avoidance of all non-school activities is still avoidance.
Red flags: Morning “illnesses,” repeated nurse visits, or disproportionate stress over assignments.


4. Guard Against Comparison and Social Media

School has always been a breeding ground for comparison — grades, sports, popularity, appearance. Today, social media magnifies every insecurity, offering kids a 24/7 scoreboard of who’s prettier, smarter, more athletic, or more “liked.” For an anxious child, this constant measuring can be crushing. As the old saying goes: “comparison is the thief of joy.”

Children need space to build a strong sense of self through meaningful activities, leisure, and authentic connections — not through relentless comparison. Parents play a critical role here. Kids don’t need to be measured against siblings, peers, their parents’ childhood selves, or even their own former abilities. For anxious kids, who are already their own toughest critics, comparison only deepens shame and erodes confidence.

Instead, parents who highlight individual progress — whether that’s raising a hand once in class, walking through the school doors after a hard morning, or choosing to join a friend for an activity — help their children recognize growth on their own terms. These moments of authentic achievement, however small, are the antidote to comparison.

Examples:
Sibling or peer comparisons: Avoid comments like “your sister never struggled with this” or measuring your child against classmates.
Self-comparisons: Refrain from “When I was your age…” — the world your child is navigating is different from yours.
Comparisons to their former self: Avoid saying “you used to be able to do this,” which often lands as failure and pressure when a child is already vulnerable.


5. Recognize and Manage Your Own Anxiety as a Parent

Perhaps the hardest — and most powerful — part of supporting an anxious child is managing your own worry. Children absorb parental anxiety like sponges. A parent who rescues too quickly or models panic reinforces the message that the child can’t handle discomfort.

Parents can use the same principles we ask of kids: regulate emotions, lean into support, and find balance through healthy routines. Modeling calm confidence, holding firm but compassionate boundaries, and celebrating small wins show kids that growth comes from tolerating discomfort, not avoiding it.

Examples:
Over-accommodation: Calling to excuse a child from gym every time they feel nervous.
Modeling: Owning mistakes calmly teaches resilience better than preventing all discomfort.
Self-talk: “It’s okay if my child is uncomfortable — that’s how they grow.”
Wins: Recognize showing-up behaviors: attending one class, raising a hand, or staying through a difficult day.


Moving Forward with Support

Parenting an anxious child can feel exhausting, especially during the back-to-school season. You may find yourself torn between wanting to protect your child and knowing they need to face challenges to grow. The good news is you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Lean on your resources. Talk with teachers and school counselors, reach out to therapists, and don’t hesitate to ask for extra help when your child’s struggles feel bigger than what you can manage on your own. Asking for help is not failure — it’s part of showing your child that strength comes from connection.

Remember, the goal isn’t to erase anxiety. It’s to help your child take one step at a time, supported by the right people and strategies, and to celebrate progress — however small — along the way.