On August 2, 2025, we welcomed more than 100 Mountain Valley alumni and their families to Plainfield, New Hampshire. As we gathered on a beautiful summer day, we celebrated the life-changing experiences made at Mountain Valley and reconnected former residents from all over the country.
A snapshot of a few of our favorite moments from the reunion:
August 2, 2025, was a beautiful mid-summer day in Plainfield, New Hampshire. The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and the Mountain Valley campus buzzed with energy. It was the day of our annual Mountain Valley Reunion, and more than one hundred people gathered to reconnect and celebrate the life-changing experiences they’ve had through our program.
Alumni residents and their families flew in from across the country. Current residents spent the morning rounding up farm animals for a petting zoo and hanging “Welcome Back!” signs around campus. By noon, the open field behind the Carriage House dorm was filled with laughter and joy — alumni, parents, former and current staff, and family members mingled, reconnecting, and celebrating together.
It was a day full of emotions — good ones — but even good emotions can be overwhelming.
“How did we get all these people to spend a sunny summer afternoon in the field of a residential treatment center? How did we get so lucky? What did we do to deserve this?”
These questions swirled in my mind as I walked the now-quiet campus hours after the festivities ended. Searching for an answer, I did what we encourage our residents to do: I asked myself, “What am I feeling?”
Before the question had fully formed, my body answered: love.
Love is what I was feeling. Love is what made the day what it was.
What Is Love?
Love is a powerful word and a complex emotion — one we use so often that we risk losing sight of its meaning.
Like all emotions, love is both a biological and psychological process. Biologically, it’s a cocktail of hormones — oxytocin, dopamine, vasopressin, and endorphins — the perfect “feel-good” mix. Psychologically, love shapes our thoughts and behaviors and influences the development of our relationships and attachments.
But is love just biology and psychology? Or is it something bigger? Philosophers have debated it for millennia. Plato called love “a desire for beauty and truth.” Aristotle saw it as a virtue, essential to living a moral and good life. Kierkegaard described it as a choice — a commitment that demands self-sacrifice.
No matter the lens — science, psychology, or philosophy — love’s impact on the human experience is profound and undeniable.
So how did we get here? How did strangers from different walks of life come together and find themselves in a place of love? Maybe it begins where it all started: in a place of fear.
The Relationship Between Love & Fear
As an anxiety-focused program, fear is what brings people to our door. It can steal the spark from a young person’s life, causing them to retreat, avoid, and withdraw from the world. Parents often watch helplessly as their child’s life grows smaller and their own fears grow larger until the entire family system is engulfed in fear’s shadow.
So, what do we do? How do we find the light again? And where does love fit into all of this?
Love Reduces Fear
Biologically, love is the antidote to fear. It calms the brain’s alarm system, releasing hormones that reduce stress and foster connection. That sense of connection is at the heart of what we do.
As an exposure-based program, we walk alongside anxious young people and their families as they lean into what scares them most. Through this process, they build resilience, regain confidence, and rediscover their passion for life. But their bravery begins where love can be found, so it’s our job to provide it.
Love Transforms Fear
Love doesn’t just reduce fear — it transforms it. When we are in love — with a person, place, thing, or idea — we are more willing to face our fears. As psychologist Viktor Frankl said, “A man with a why can bear almost any how.” Love gives us something bigger than ourselves to be brave for. In its most authentic form, it can turn fear into courage.
If our mission is to help young people turn fear into courage, love is a key ingredient. We help them find it in the people, places, and things around them. By tapping into what they love, we tap into their strength — harnessing it for meaningful change.
Love Is Found Through Fear
Love isn’t just a tool to reduce or transform fear — it’s often the result of facing it. Embracing what scares us — talking about it or confronting it in real time — requires vulnerability. It requires us to be seen for who we truly are. In the right context, with the right support, that vulnerability often leads to profound connection and deep acceptance. This is the primary basis for experiencing love.
So although it’s easy to see fear as a barrier to love, it can also be a bridge — and when a community faces its fears together, it often discovers deep love and connection on the other side.
A Day of Love
Our reunion was a living testament to these truths and to the relationship between love and fear. We were reminded of the fears this community has faced, met, and transcended — and inspired by the genuine connection, understanding, and love that took their place.
As the sun set on that perfect summer day, I felt deep gratitude for the privilege of being part of a community dedicated to “making fear less” and “love more” in the world around us.
Let’s Face Fear Together
If you or someone you love is struggling with fear or anxiety, know that you’re not alone — and that healing and connection are possible. We invite you to learn more about our program, join our community events, or simply reach out to start a conversation. Together, we can face fear and make room for more love in our lives.
Stay connected with Mountain Valley — where courage grows and love leads the way.
Last week, on the Fear Less Podcast, we released Episode #36: “Fear, Fatherhood, and Transformation: Zack’s Journey to Becoming Dad.” In this episode, I reflected on the biggest life transition I have made to date—becoming a father. In my reflection, I talk about the role fear and anxiety played throughout my journey into fatherhood, and how impactful my fear was in helping me refine who I am and who I wanted to be as a father.
For many of us, we have an adverse relationship with fear. We associate fear with being an enemy—something that taunts us, holds us back, and keeps us small. And for many of us, we have good reason to feel this way. Fear and anxiety are incredibly powerful and incredibly uncomfortable to feel. Fear can be all-consuming to the body and mind, leading us to think thoughts we don’t want to think, feel sensations we don’t want to feel, or take actions we don’t want to take.
For many of us, when we feel fear, we feel trapped. Its all-consuming nature paralyzes us and we become enslaved, losing our sense of agency and no longer able to act as freely as we desire. As commonly quoted from the bestselling book series and now Academy Award-winning movie, Dune, “Fear is the mind-killer.”
However, if you are familiar with the book or the movie series, you will remember that this quote is part of a larger mantra that goes like this:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings obliteration. I will face my fear and I will allow it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
I love this mantra, as I think it aligns with my personal experiences with fear, Mountain Valley’s philosophy on fear, and the ethos of the Fear Less Podcast: it is not about being fearless, but it is about making your fear less.
We don’t want fear to go away. We don’t want to avoid it. We don’t want to get rid of it. We want to acknowledge it, we want to face it, we want to lean into it, and we want to learn from it. In fact, most of the time, on the other side of fear is a better, more refined version of you.
Fear can be an incredible teacher and a catalyst for personal growth. Fear is the part of us that shows us where things might go wrong, so we can try to make things right. Fear is the mirror that reflects back to us the things we need to change. Fear can be an ally rather than an enemy, a friend rather than a foe.
But fear needs to be in its proper place. It can’t be in the driver’s seat; it needs to be in the passenger seat. Fear should be someone you bring along with you to inform your decisions, not the final decision-maker.
Here are some thoughts on how to alchemize fear for transformation:
Face It – When you feel fear coming on, look at it. Really look at it. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of? What am I afraid might happen?” Allow your mind to explore and allow it to travel to all the dark places and all the worst outcomes. Be present with what fear is trying to show you. Don’t avoid it, face it head-on.
Example from Podcast: My fear told me that I would not be a good father to my son if I continued to live my life the way I was. It showed me how my current actions would lead me to be a distant father, disconnected from my wife and my children. A man who is tired, stressed, and a shell of the passionate and loving man I once was. As hard as it was to do, I had to take time to acknowledge that, be with it, and really see that future playing out. I had to feel the pain that would cause me and cause those that I love.
Reflect Honestly – Once your fear has shown you the potential danger and all the worst things imaginable, ask yourself the honest question, “Is this true? Or could this outcome happen?” Before you do an honest, rational, and objective self-inquiry, it’s important to be in a good headspace. Being honest with yourself is very challenging, and it can be painful to come to terms with your fears and any role you may have played in them coming true. Be honest, but be kind. Taking a good look in the mirror is never easy, but always fruitful for helping you move forward.
Example from Podcast: As my fear began to show me all the ways in which I was going to fail as a father, it was painful, but many of them were true. If I continued to prioritize my work to the detriment of my relationships, my interests, and my health, I would not be able to be a good father for my son. As much as it hurt, I needed to see that and feel that to change.
Connect to Your Values – Fear can be an incredibly powerful tool for helping you establish or re-establish your values. When we are scared, what is important to us often becomes abundantly clear. Furthermore, knowing our values and what is important to us can be an incredible asset when trying to navigate the dark waters of fear. In the podcast, I talk about values serving as a compass, helping us to find our way when we feel lost. Fear, when in its proper place, can set us on the right path.
Example from Podcast: On the other side of the pain, my mind was clear as I can remember. I had taken the time to establish my values before, but through this experience of facing down my fear, they shined through more prominently than ever: Faith, Family, Service, and Health. These are the pillars that I need to build my life upon so I can become the father I was always meant to be.
Take Action – Although being with your fear and owning it is challenging, that is only half the battle. None of that matters if you don’t DO something about it. You must face your fear and move forward courageously. Once your fear connects you back to your values and highlights the pathway forward, take action towards those values and face your fears through living and being differently.
Example from Podcast: Although my son Micah has only been in our lives for five weeks, I am living differently. I am leaving work earlier to spend time with my family. I am eating cleaner and resting more. I have taken up trail running again and not a day goes by where I am not outdoors moving my body. My fear showed me where I needed to go, and although I am not there yet, I am on my way.
